Should I Cut My Hair?

Dear Hot Mama Murgatroyd,

I've been thinking for awhile of cutting my hair.  It's taken me years to grow it out this long, but I think I'm ready for something different.  Should I cut it?  

Thanks,

Too Many Locks in Tuscany

Dear Too Many Locks,

Are you kidding me?  You're asking me if you should cut your hair?!  MUAHAHAHAHA!  Since you're stupid enough to ask, I'm going to be stupid enough to answer!  No wait!  Smart enough!  Yeah, that's it!  I'll be smart enough to answer!

Yes!  Definitely cut your hair!  I hear that the mullet is making a comeback with a twist.  Instead of party in the back and business in the front, it's mohawk on the top.  Leave the back nice and long, shave the sides of your head, and get a nice mohawk on the top of your head.  Don't add color though.  Color is for losers and psychopathic leprechauns.  Also, don't forget to take out any piercings you  may have.  You don't want to give people the impression that you're cool.  After all, you're asking some random person on the web if you should cut your hair.  Uncool, Dude!  Uncool!

Be sure to come back and let me know what your friends think of your new trendsetting!  *snigger snigger*