Is Jon Heder Hot?

Dear Hot Mama Murgatroyd,

My wife and I have a bet and we're hoping you can settle it for us. She says that Jon Heder is really cute. I say that he is ugly as sin and as bright as a broken headlight. We're betting for dinner here at Le Meurice in Paris, France. 

Signed,

Betting my Butt off in Vancouver, British Columbia

Dear Betting my Butt off,

Before I answer this, I have to say that you're an idiot unless you're a newlywed.  The wife is ALWAYS right!  In spite of this world-renowned knowledge, your wife is right.  Jon Heder is hot!  Look at the picture above to see my examples.  Notice the vacant expression?  That shows that he's not all that bright, meaning he's capable of holding down a job and making enough money to support the family but at the same time he's not going to stand up to a woman.  That look says 'Hey!  I know you're smarter than me!  Walk all over me!'  Secondly, look at the lips.  Those lips were meant for kissing!  Kissing butt, that is!  See how plump both the upper and bottom lip are?  Those combine to make perfect suction!  Now, lastly, notice the wiry, curled hair?  That hair says 'I'm never gonna leave you because I'm thankful to have any woman.'  What turns women on?  That's easy!  Money, stability and a compliant man.  Heder's never going to stand up to a woman unless she tells him to and that is hot, hot, hot! 


I have to add that Paris is not a good choice.  Take the wife out west to a Bunny Ranch so that she can see how vastly superior she is to all the other women that YOU lust after!  


On a personal note:  I'd do him :D